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"I made it all up, and it all came true anyway. That's the funny part."

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Apr
23rd
Wed
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A new generation of medical treatments could be lost forever unless the current rate of biodiversity loss is reversed, conservationists have warned. They say species are being lost before researchers have had the chance to examine and understand their potential health benefits.

Species loss ‘bad for our health’ - BBC News.

Finally, a reason to care about extinction!
Apr
18th
Fri
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hear it here 2nd

There’s a place for you at Purchase! I’m totally psyched you’re gonna be at Culture Shock, I’ll see you there!! 

sangennaro:

Yep, I’m on tour—- four weeks with the ambient assault team ECSTATIC SUNSHINE. It’s been what? 2 years since I touched both coasts? Feels kinda like my first tour ever— I haven’t really kicked it with the post-Tom brave new world of “underground” music, all the new bands are different, and the audiences, too, right? I mean, this might sound melodramatic or insecure or something but it has crossed my mind many times in the last year: is there still a place for me here? “Here” being the world of shows, I guess. You know what I mean.

4/18 = BROOKLYN NY @ MARKET HOTEL w/ HIGH PLACES, ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
4/19 = SUNY PURCHASE @ CULTURE SHOCK w/ HIGH PLACES, ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
4/20 = BARD COLLEGE @ SMOG w/ HIGH PLACES, ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
4/21 = SOMERVILLE MA @ PA’S LOUNGE w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
4/22 = BUFFALO NY @ SOUNDLAB w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
4/23 = DETROIT MI @ SCRUMMAGE w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE, FUTURE ISLANDS
4/25 = APPLETON WI @ LAWRENCE UNIVERSITY w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
4/26 = CHICAGO IL @ SOUTH UNION ARTS w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
4/27 = MINNEAPOLIS @ TRIPLE ROCK w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
4/28 = SAINT LOUIS MO @ LEMP ARTS w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
4/29 = TBA
4/30 = DENVER CO @ RHINOCEROPOLIS w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE, PICTURE PLANE, TEMPLES
5/2 = BOISE @ 406 O’FARREL ST w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/3 = PORTLAND OR @ BACKSPACE w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/5 = SAN FRANCISCO CA @ ATA w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE, WALT DISNEY, NAKED ON THE VAGUE
5/6 = OAKLAND CA @ MAMA BUZZ CAFE w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/7 = LOS ANGELES CA @ THE ECHO w/ BARR, ECSTATIC SUNSHINE, ABE VIGODA
5/8 = PHOENIX AZ @ MODIFIED ARTS w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/9 = ALBUQUERQUE NM @ HIGH MAYHEM w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/10 = LUBBOCK TX @ KTXT w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/11 = AUSTIN TX @ THE MOHAWK w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/12 = DALLAS TX @ KETTLE ART w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/13 = FAYETTEVILLE AR @ KXUA w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/14 = KNOXVILLE TN @ PILOT LIGHT w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/15 = ATHENS GA @ CALEDONIA LOUNGE w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE
5/16 = TBA
5/17 = WASHINGTON DC @ COMET’S PING PONG w/ ECSTATIC SUNSHINE, TICKELY FEATHER

Haha, so parse that if you wanna come hang out with me. Or like google it up, other sites maybe wrote it more legibly.

I’m planning on playing my cathartic new “Welcome to Camp Echo” set every night, an aural IRFing located at the intersection of Burial, Burzum, and Ba’al timor.
Apr
4th
Fri
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dalasverdugo:

Thanks to Hulu, I’m finally getting around to watching Arrested Development.

Yes, it is a good show. However, I’m totally confused as to why some people think it was cancelled too soon. There are 52 episodes!!! Typically, a really good British comedy show will have 12 episodes. Sometimes as little as 6 (Darkplace)!! They do this many shows, then they make a new, hilarious show.

Americans, there were enough episodes of Arrested Development made. Please accept this.

But, Arrested Development was on Fox. When a show on Fox is over, it gets replaced by Fox programming. For those of us who only rocked local channels, losing Arrested Development was a huge.

Mar
28th
Fri
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WhaleHammer News Segement

  • JACKSON: Now listen up you fuckers! This is the news!
  • Everyone CHEERS.
  • JACKSON: We go now to Ben for this special report we downloaded from the BBC!
  • BEN: This next tragedy comes to us from the savage land of Africa! A boat was stolen two months ago from a village colloquially referred to as ‘Kwazulu-Natal.’ Who gives a shit, right? WRONG. That boat used to carry 150 children to school everyday. Now they have to cross crocodile infested waters on floating rubber tires; the nearest safe crossing point is twelve miles away, and there is not a single bus or car. We go now live at Kwazulu-Natal, where one of the local crocodiles has surfaced to speak his mind about the issues.
  • (Go to CROCODILE interview).
  • I hope everyone out here tonight remembers this story tomorrow while they’re drinking their Starbucks Mocha Latte Cappuccino Venti Coladas tomorrow morning.
  • ALADDIN: Fuck poverty, that’s all I have to say. I think everyone out there agrees with me. Our next story tonight comes to us from ONE MILLION YEARS AGO. The oldest human remains in Western Europe have been discovered once again. This newest, oldest bone found in Atapuerca in Spain is a piece of jaw, which was recently discovered after the release of a coinciding report by the BBC. Jackson, can you tell us a little about that report?
  • JACKSON: Well, I didn’t read the report but the headline would suggest that ancient civilizations had societal values just like us, and that may have cared for their elderly, who, according to wildly inaccurate carbon dating reports, may have lived to the ripe old age of 40 years. Since I don’t know anything about this story, let’s talk to some cavemen.
  • (Run CAVEMEN)
  • BEN: Holy shit, how did we even film that?
  • ALADDIN: How did we film that indeed? (winks) Next on NewsHammer, the cultural fabric of Japan was torn asunder in a startling display of violence on the streets of Tsuchiura. Although the country experiences very little violent crime apart from the Yakuza gangsters and infrequent visits from Godzilla, a young man armed with a knife started stabbing people for no reason.
  • JACKSON: When he was detained by police, he purportedly alleged that he “Just wanted to kill anyone.” Of the eight people stabbed during the rampage, there was one fatality. Ben, can you give us a little insight as to what these figures mean?
  • (Show some kind of graph on the background? Numbers, something)
  • BEN: Well, if we were to assess a score based on the killings, one out of eight, that’s just seventeen percent. No matter where you are in the world, seventeen percent is a failing grade, and in Japan, good grades are a major part of the culture. This could be devastating for young Masahiro Kanagawa, whose parents are probably embarrassed he was ever born.
  • ALADDIN: Let’s see what the experts have to say, shall we? NewsHammer interviewed some Stabbing Frenzy enthusiasts who shed a little light on the technique of the matter.
  • BEN: And that’s it for the news tonight! Come back next week to see if we do this segment again!
  • [We won't.]
Mar
23rd
Sun
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That such instances [hauntings] could occur and were of serious concern for people in antiquity is, for instance, evident from the Tibetan Book of the Dead, in which the deceased was given specific instructions not to haunt. It is also apparent from Viking practice, in which if the deceased became a malignant spirit it was the duty of his relatives to break open his grave and ‘kill’ him again - a course which… may well account for some of the intrusions into Viking graves discovered by archaeologists.
— Ian Wilson, “The After Death Experience.” I’m definitely going to write a comedy scene about a group of vikings who must enter a crypt to slay the already dead body inside.
Mar
13th
Thu
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Reblog Your Answer: SXSW

jakoblodwick:

I’m headed to Austin. Do you know a band I should see? 

Go see the band Why? They’re one of my favorite groups, and I first heard them when Eric got the cLOUDDEAD album from you like 3, 4 years ago (Why?’s part of the group). I didn’t think the music would translate to a live show, but since everyone plays a variety of instruments, the ambient sounds and heavy beats play out beautifuly. Also, excellent lyrics.  Hypem’s got my favorite track from the newest album.

http://hypem.com/track/505771 

Mar
9th
Sun
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Ask The World #1

theinvisiblefist:

Did you study economics in school? If so, what was the nature of the class?

A half-year basic Economics class is required to graduate from Baltimore County schools. Over a couple of months, we filled out a number of “spending charts” and learned about different kinds of bank accounts, how to read stock charts and how to graph the supply-and-demand curve. We also watched a “West Wing” Christmas special. 

Although there were some discussions of economics on a larger scale (one question I remember in particular was, “Should a nation’s economy rely on the resources of other nations as well as its own?”), the Final was a series of multiple choice questions that ensured that virtually everyone who took the class could pass; it tested knowledge of terms and concepts, but certainly not ideas.

Although my high school had a business program, no other economics class was offered outside of that. 

Feb
28th
Thu
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Genevieve's Garden, a Romantic Comedy (Scene)

EXT. GENEVIEVE’S GARDEN: NOON

On a rooftop patio in Paris, GENEVIEVE, 26, sits at a glass table overlooking the St. Martin Canal. PHILIP, 31, sits across from her, smoking cigarettes.

The scene is decorated by a lush array of potted plants so thick and dense that the leaves and flowers spill over, almost entirely concealing the pots themselves. The table is set with two plates and a few dishes of food; the meal begins in media res.

JUNIPER, an orange/blonde cockapoo, sits attentive by PHILIP, watching him spear pieces of meat with his fork.

GENEVIEVE, taking a bite of her own food, raises her head and looks at PHILIP. All dialogue subtitled from French.

                                   GENEVIEVE
                         Philip, do I look the same today as
                         yesterday?

PHILIP stares at her for a moment.

                                    PHILIP
                         Your eyes are gleaming. You’re
                         smiling with your cheeks. Your hair
                         is lighter. Did you get younger
                         while I slept last night?

PHILIP throws a piece of meat to JUNIPER, who tries and fails to catch it. JUNIPER eats it off the ground.

                                   GENEVIEVE
                         No, I don’t think so. What else do
                         you see?

 PHILIP takes a sip of wine and watches GENEVIEVE pensively from behind his cigarette.

                                   PHILIP
                         I see salt-scrubbed skin, pearled
                         teeth. You visited a spa this
                         morning?

PHILIP throws another piece of meat at JUNIPER. It lands in front of the dog, where it is gobbled up. GENEVIEVE shakes her head, smiling and beginning to peel an orange.

                                   PHILIP
                         Let’s see… I slept until eleven,
                         what could have changed while I
                         slept? I know, you went to Church!
                         You found God, I can see it in your
                         fingers, the way you peel that
                         orange.

PHILIP tosses another piece of meat at JUNIPER; this piece flies over the dog’s head, hits the ground and rolls off the patio into the street below. JUNIPER runs over and looks down, watching it fall.

                                   GENEVIEVE
                             (still peeling)
                         I did go to Church today, but only
                         to bring flowers to the minster.
                         He’s such a dreary fellow, but he
                         loves the violets I grow. I saw him
                         on the way to bakery. And I saw the
                         legless beggar boy, I gave him some
                         coins and a piece of my bread. Then
                         I smelled oranges, and a woman sold
                         me a bag for half price because I
                         complimented her hat. It was a
                         magnificent hat.

PHILIP sits, staring at her. He takes another drag of his cigarette. JUNIPER stares at him expectantly. After a silent moment, PHILIP ashes his cigarette and leans forward.

                                    PHILIP
                         Yes? And then what?

                                   GENEVIEVE
                         And then what what?

                                   PHILIP
                         What happened? What’s different
                         about you?

GENEVIEVE finishes peeling her orange, peels a section and puts it in her mouth. She chews slowly, looking at the sky. She looks back at PHILIP.

 
                                   GENEVIEVE
                         I want you to keep guessing.

                                   PHILIP
                         Can I have a piece of orange?

GENEVIEVE shakes her head.

                                   GENEVIEVE
                         When you guess.

 PHILIP frowns and continues to stare at her.

                                   PHILIP
                         Your voice is light, like a yellow
                         balloon. There’s juice on your
                         chin. Your earrings are polished.
                         Your breasts are fuller, rounder.
                         You’ve done your nails, or had them
                         done… surely that manicure was
                         done professionally.

                                    GENEVIEVE
                         I painted my nails last night,
                         while you were reading that book
                         about alchemy.

For the first time, held in anticipation, JUNIPER barks at PHILIP. PHILIP throws a piece of meat at the dog and hits him in the face. GENEVIEVE chews on another piece of orange.

                                    PHILIP
                         I’m going to turn lead into gold. I
                         know you don’t believe me, but I’m
                         going to quit the office and we’re
                         going to live in a mansion, with a
                         yacht, and horses. We’ll have
                         horses.

                                   GENEVIEVE
                         I like my place in Paris just fine.
                         And horses are too big, you can’t
                         hold them. If you get rich, we
                         should adopt as many children as we
                         can, take them in from all over the
                         world and give them a good home. We
                         don’t need expensive things.

                                   PHILIP
                         That sounds awful. Children spoil
                         money for everyone who has both.

GENEVIEVE laughs, and takes a sip of her wine.

                                    GENEVIEVE
                         Okay, you can have a mansion, I’ll
                         have a child. Juniper can have his
                         own horse. Juniper, do you want a
                         horse to ride?

JUNIPER barks. When GENEVIEVE turns back to PHILIP, he’s staring at her again. He points at her.

                                    PHILIP
                             (becoming accusatory)
                         You are different. You have always
                         been beautiful, but today you are
                         beautiful and different.

GENEVIEVE smiles and eats another section of orange. JUNIPER dances around PHILIP’s chair, panting and watching his hands for meat.

                                    PHILIP
                         There is a radiance about you. It
                         is uniquely Genevieve, but it is
                         not unusual. In fact, you are
                         exactly as I remember you
                         yesterday. And the day before that,
                         and in fact every afternoon where
                         we sit and eat in your garden, and
                         I fall in love with you a little
                         bit more.

PHILIP takes one last drag of his cigarette and leans towards GENEVIEVE. He flicks the cigarette over the railing and down into the street below.

                                    PHILIP
                         …but something is different
                         today.

GENEVIEVE also leans in, taking another sip of wine. She puts the glass down and puts a section of orange in PHILIP’s mouth.

                                    GENEVIEVE
                         No, nothing is different today. I
                         just like listening to you talk
                         about me.

PHILIP stares at her, chewing. GENEVIEVE smiles.

 
                                   GENEVIEVE (CONT’D)
                         Aren’t these oranges delicious?

PHILIP wipes his mouth with a cloth napkin.

                                    PHILLIP
                         Genevieve, I can’t make up my mind,
                         should I kiss you or slap you?

                                   GENEVIEVE
                         Either way, we’ll end up fucking.


PHILIP nods and slaps GENEVIEVE slightly. She slaps him back. He stands up and pulls her to her feet, bringing her in for a kiss. He pushes her up against the wall of the patio; she wraps her legs around his waist, and he undoes his belt and drops his pants to the ground.


As PHILIP and GENEVIEVE get down in the background, JUNIPER  looks at them, then jumps onto a chair, and onto the glass table. He begins eating from PHILIP’s plate.

Feb
25th
Mon
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who loves the sun

dihard:

if we capture the energy that we get from the sun in just one hour and turn it into electricity, we can power the earth for a year

 If we could bottle God, I would drink it.

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This is relatively epic: Xando vs. Hercules for WhaleHammer.